As the new year takes root I also complete another trip around the sun. Between the changing of the year & my birthday I like to take pause & reflect on the energy of this next rotation ~ to find a word or phrase that feels both like an anchor & an arrow.
Or... more accurately the phrase finds me.
Over the course of 3 days I crossed the path of 4 bald eagles. Their beauty & symbolism felt like a coming home to the truth & energy of this next phase ~ freedom, vision, resilience, & stepping into a fuller expression of self & life.
This energy synthesized into two words.
Sovereign CHOICE
Choice governed in self agency & self response-ability,.
Choice that instills a sense of inner stability & sacred connection.
Choice that stems from our most alive & pertinent truths.
As a birthday & new years gift to you (& myself) I've gathered 23 of the most helpful reminders I've found to support the power of true & sovereign choice - that which empowers agency, growth, freedom, & integrity.
Here's to 2023! May we each step more fully into ourselves & power through kindness, respect, & the agency of our intentional & sovereign decisions.
You can also download the gift pdf HERE & cut out & those that feel the most resonant to your being.
23 Ways to Engage in Clear & Sovereign Decision Making in this New Year
1. The first question to ask. Is this choice really important to my life, my goals, & my aligned life right now? One of the greatest choices we have is when & when not engage. Keep your energy for those decisions that align with your being & growth.
2. Choice is response-ability. In others words it is about ability to respond from a place of agency. Ask your self “Does this feel like a reaction (fragmented, desperate, fearful, numbing) or a centred & clear choice?”
3. Regulate. If you are overwhelmed, highly activated, feeling desperate, numb, or in extreme emotions take a pause & regulate your system (e.g. take a bathroom break, go for a walk, deep breathe). (Check out: Calm Your Nerves & Find Your Words)
4.Take off the pressure. Give yourself a period of time (e.g. an hour, day, week) without any urgency to need to land on a decision.
5. Listen deeply. Remove yourself from distractions & allow all your experiences from emotions & thoughts to be felt & moved organically. This natural unwinding allows more intuitive & connected knowing to be experienced. (Check out: How to love, listen, & actually hear ourselves in an uncertain world)
6. Know thyself first. Give yourself time to truly understand your own beliefs, feelings, ideas, & concerns before trying to meet others needs. (Check out: Time out! 20 phrases to help you understand, ask for, & take the time you need)
7. Separate the elements: Separate the facts, your desires, your concerns, your emotions, & the stories or thoughts you have about the situation so that you can see a clearer picture.
8. Engage your body’s compass. Feel different options in your body & give them space. If something feels right take note. If it feels tense or off, become curious about it.
9. Recognize if sovereign choice is impaired. Julien Treasure offers four key challenges to communication & (I would argue) sovereign choice including; trying to look good, needing to be right, fixing, & people-pleasing. If these are driving you step back & reconnect to yourself.
10. Shift from expectations to values. Focus on those values that matter to you & engage from this space instead of from of expectation. This may allow new possibilities to emerge.
11. Clarify your why(s). When considering options excavate the ‘why’ or reasons for each. Dig down (i.e. continue to ask ‘why is that important?’) until you get to the root. Notice which reasons resonate as important in your mind & body
12. Engage quality support. Identify individuals you trust, respect, & admire that could help you navigate the problem more elegantly. Seek insight from those that meet this criteria & let go of the thoughts/judgement/opinions of those who don’t.
13. Gather information. Consider any assumptions you might be making or areas where you need more information. Seek to fill these gaps of understanding.
14. Be curious. Genuine curiosity allows us to explore & make decisions that are rooted more in safety & trust & less on fear or protection.
15. Accurate responsibility. Own your choices, responses, & behaviour while letting others own theirs.
16. Honour empathy. Have healthy empathy for how others may be impacted by your choices.
17. Make one choice at a time. Break down big decisions into smaller steps (e.g. taking time to consider, seeking information) so you can be more present & intentional.
18. Use sovereign language. Words & phrases like ‘should’, ‘can’t’, ‘have to’, ‘need to’ & even ‘try’ often leave us feeling disempowered. Try words & phrases such as ‘don’t’ (e.g. I don’t drink), ‘choose to’, ‘choose not’ & ’want to’ to engage in your sense of personal power.
19. Terri Cole (author of Boundary Boss) reminds us that “You always have the right to make mistakes & course correct”. Remember this when you are nervous about making the wrong choice or feeling embarrassed about wanting to change course.
20. Honour timing. Honour the timing of your body & mind to process & engage. Allow others to move in their time as well.
21. Appreciate growth. Steep in the felt recognition of your growth. Allow the feeling of steadiness & possibility to percolate & inspire you as move through life.
22. Choose & move on. Once you’ve made your decision trust & move on. Give yourself time to see how things land & remember you can always adjust as needed in the future.
And last but not least…
23. Stand in the power to choose. In every situation you have the choice of how you respond - to stand in your Self, honour your Self, & meet your Self (& others) in a way that aligns with your values & truth. As Victor Frankl shared “Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.”
About the Author
Amy Thiessen is an international teacher, coach, & musician who focuses on helping individuals connect to their confidence, purpose, & self-esteem through voice & communication. Offering a holistic approach Amy helps individuals uncover & overcome their unique blocks & ultimately express themselves in a way that is empowered & impactful.
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