Updated: Aug 29, 2022
Can I tell you a secret?
I used to believe that hope was actually a problematic thing ~ that it was based in attachment & was more harmful than helpful.
Now... to be fair, that was likely because I didn’t fully understand how to work with it.
For example, I ‘hoped’ a guy would like me back or ‘hoped’ that some music manager would see me, sign me, & make me famous. This hope often came with fantasies of being swept away into a whole new world of possibility & it was intoxicating.
Unfortunately, it was also painful.
Why? Because this type of hope was based in the external. A desire, expectation, or wish for some external force to impact my life in a very specific way. And, when it didn’t happen, I felt like I had failed, like my manifestation radar was broken, or that (oooph) I just didn’t believe hard enough.
This was a naïve idea of hope.
Fortunately, there is a different type of hope that is aligned & powerful. This is an internal hope that reminds us that we have the power to positively impact our future. It isn’t about being saved or rescued but about reconnecting the possibility in ourselves.
This type of ‘Aligned Hope’ is resourceful. You get to grow it, nurture & live it for yourself.
And… the more you cultivate it, the easier it is to remember & come home to.
So how do we connect to hope that is resourceful & grounded instead of one that leaves us feeling restless & yearning? These 4 simple tactics will connect you to resourceful & self-affirming sense of hope.
1. Aligned Hope Feels Possible.
When we truly believe in possibility, our hope supports us. However, if our ‘hope’ is based on what the mind says we ‘should’ believe, but our body says otherwise, it can be ungrounding.
The trick is to connect to a hope that feels possible. No different than learning to walk, developing hope may mean taking small steps towards a greater sense of possibility. But, even just a crack of possibility can begin to shift the tides.
For example, if 15 years ago I ‘hoped’ I wouldn’t be anxious anymore, I would probably spin right into anxiety about how I was failing at not being anxious.
But… if instead, I felt into the possibility that maybe someday my anxiety would subside… that would have felt possible.
Forget what people, books, gurus, or whoever it is that tells you about what you ‘should’ believe. If you want to shift a belief or move into hope, do so in a way that feels possible & resourceful to you.
As Leonard Cohen said,
“There is a crack, a crack in everything,
That’s how the light gets in”.
And… a crack of possibility is enough.
2. Aligned Hope is Felt (not thought)
Hope is a sense of trust in yourself, your capacity, & in possibility. This is a felt sense - a knowing or trust that you cultivate. It is something you can ground into & move from.
Instead of jumping into action, take time to percolate in the felt sense of hope. Anchor the energy, excitement, & impulse into the steadiness of your pelvis, root, & legs. Allow emotions, sensations, and even images to pass through your awareness as you settle into it.
Then engage from this grounded & focused space.
3. Aligned Hope Rests in You
Hope that empowers you is hope that aligns you with your power.
If you notice your hope is based on the external (e.g. hope for validation, hope to be liked, hope to make someone do something), see if you can shift it to the internal.
For example, instead of hoping that someone will like you, you might shift into the possibility that you could feel confident or steady in yourself with them. Then ground this as a felt sense in yourself, and engage from there. This takes the power & intention of the exchange & places it in you.
4. Aligned Hope is Gentle
When you find a sense of aligned hope, it may or may not be absolute. It’s quite common to still feel nervous, insecure, or uncertain even as you sense that space of possibility inside of yourself.
This is normal.
Hope gently. This means keeping your attention on that sense of possibility even if other emotions arise. It also means allowing yourself to gently come back to hope when you get sidetracked or derailed.
Again & again, gently bring your awareness back to that felt sense of possibility.
Ultimately Hope is something we cultivate & stabilize through practice. Self-awareness & non-judgement towards ourselves can help us to tune into hope even in those darker places.
Sometimes it’s difficult for us to sense our own power & possibility. Somatic Experiencing can help you regulate this sense of internal steadiness & is a part of In Resonance Coaching. If you’d like to learn more about how to re-establish this sense of possibility in yourself Book a a Free Consultation right now & learn how In Resonance Coaching can support you.
About the Author.
Amy Thiessen is an international somatic voice & communications coach who helps women inhabit greater comfort in their bodies & express themselves with clarity, courage, & resonance through group programs & 1:1 coaching. Under the artist name ‘Sundari Studios’ she offers hypnotic devotional musical performance & production designed to uplift the spirit & awaken the heart. Thiessen's music & work has been featured on TED X, Wanderlust, Embodylab Summits (Embodied Yoga & MindBody Therapy) & alongside international teachers Janet Stone & Megan Currie.